War Between The Selves

I know that as a people group, we have adhered to a set of rules regarding vocabulary. Even if we detest and loathe the chosen verblets and anecdotal anachronisms, we do have to recognize their existence, at at times (gulp) even use them. Thus, the phone call today shouldn't have bothered me.

But it did.

I've been struggling with some internal wars as of late(no, not in the bathroom). The wars center around the way that today's church interprets and expresses things.

The war goes something like this.

Self: I'm irritated with blah-blah-blah-blah

Self2:Yes, I know you are. But you understand that nobody is perfect, thus no institution can be perfect. Everybody is striving for their best.

Self: No, they aren't. They ruddy well aren't.

Self2: You are being childish

Self: I've earned it.

Self2: Sure...that really helps your case.

Self: Ok, fine. How's this for maturity? I'm not going to talk to you right now. You just take the 'high road' and remind me that I have a duty to those who are weaker minded or more impressionable. But I want a break too! Someone has to take the low road, right?

Self2: You are going to hell.

Self: Rolls eyes at Self2 and Self. (Am going insane)

I know that this probably sounds as dumb and horrible as it does to me, and I'm the one experiencing it!

Well, the wars aren't really what this is about. But because I'm in the midst of the battle, it made the phone call that much more irritating. It wasn't her fault, really. It was mine. I was being rude (on the inside).

It went like this:

Me: How may I direct your call?

Her: In the service tonight, will there be just teaching or will there also be worship?

Me: (thinking ugly thoughts inside mean ugly head) It will be a regular Wednesday night service; we will follow the same format as always.

Her: Well, I don't usually come on Wednesday nights. So will there be only teaching or will we have a time of worship?

Me: We are having music, if that is what you are asking.

Her: Yes....

Me: Well then, yes. We are having worship.

*Click*

(Pulls hair out and makes grunting noise)

I'm not stupid. I knew that she was asking about worship through song. But I was irritated with the laissez-faire way she just threw it out there, as if the only way to worship was through singing.

Worship couldn't have been anything else she experienced on this campus or elsewhere. No, we have to have someone get up there with a guitar or piano and sing for 37 minutes for it to be a 'real' service.

I've actually had callers ask if we were going to be holding a 'real' service. I am (almost always without fail) nice and tell them what that particular service will hold. (Music....Scripture....Teaching..) Then they are able to deduce if this is, in their opinion, a 'real' service.

I'm a bit perturbed at the insistence that every time we all get together, we have to have some songs in order to make it 'real' or to make it 'worship.

Is it just me, or aren't there many other ways to worship?

I adore, love, and cannot live without music. So please don't think that this is about music. I come from a very musical family and background, and in my mind I used to be invited to Jay Leno's show all the time for my new album.

But I also think that God shows up even when we are not participating in a 'real' service.

I soooo want to get into a discussion with these people when they call.

But so far, I haven't been able to.

I'm too nice, and Self2 yells too loud.