Monday, June 8, 2009


So...tomorrow morning I'm off to California.

Usually I would take this time to obsess over how much I love going on vacation. I would say that I love to get out of town and go anywhere, but our trip to Small Boring Town Ohio a few years ago nixed that idea. I know, Amynda, that Ohio isn't boring. Just that particular Now, before I offend any other Ohioers...

Well, as I said, I could be talking about how even stopping for coffee seems relaxing and luxurious while on vacation. How the sight of that famous mouse profile makes me forget, in a crazed maniacal kind of way, that bills and decisions are waiting for me at home.

And I guess that is kind of what I'm doing.

I told my sister last week that when I see the gates of the happiest place on Earth, I'm going to fall on my knees and weep like a bedraggled traveler from a refugee boat.

I was being a little dramatic, but overall not really kidding.

Lately life just, you know?

I think the phrase about your heart being heavy is just really dead on. Because right now my heart isn't sad. It's just, well, heavy.

All around me, both in my life and the lives of those I love, there are life-changing decisions being grappled with, medical conditions that need resolved, financial hardships, job losses, and relationship snafus. And in the end, any particular decision might end up giving me a sad heart. But for now, as it all hangs in the balance, in that thick and grey mass of indecision, it just makes my heart heavy.

And so while I really, really look forward to all the Peter Pan rides, overpriced merchandise, trips to the cold beaches of Central Coast, and gossip fests with my borrowed BFFs, I am looking forward to a not-so-heavy heart.

In fact, might I dare to wish it, a light heart.

I learn more and more that life just keeps on handing out the hard stuff. My problems, and those of my friends, aren't going anywhere. And while that is hard to swallow even on a good day, it is also nice to know that I can leave it all behind for a few hours of laughing with my sister about the neon fanny pack the lady in front of us is sporting.

As it is said, tomorrow can worry about itself.

As for me, I'm going on vacation.

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